What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you win again, gameday.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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