Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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