she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
