Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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