glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
