I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize