it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sober January is a disaster.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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