this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
