Why does Corona taste like a burp?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
