I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
