Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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