Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
