Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
