i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
