Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
