Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
