The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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