I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
