Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
