your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
