I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
