so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize