I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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