remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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