I just pynch a tree in the face
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
