His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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