id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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