Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
