Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
