think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
