I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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