I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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