i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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