I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
