if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
