She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'