I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?