NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.