How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.