Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize