I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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