hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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