SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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