i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
