youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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