it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
