hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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