Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize