I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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