I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
