so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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