At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
