i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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