i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
