When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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