My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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