Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a search helicopter?!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The ass gains better be worth it
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