I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i drank out of a bidet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
