I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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