I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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