ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize