I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
