Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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